Con Work

I have not written for a while, but for a reason. I spent most of the last week prepping for Trotcon, and was in Ohio all weekend, and as soon as I got home, I hit the ground running on getting a few commissions done. It's been pretty much non-stop work, with hardly any time for writing breaks. Predictably, this did come with some sleep disturbances, a couple 3-6 AM bedtimes, but evening and late night is often the only time I can work undisturbed on customs for long stretches of time. As the con date snuck up on me, I felt increased pressure to make more and more stuff, and even when I was packing up, I still didn't feel like I have enough merch. Of course, I had brought enough stuff in terms of total dollar amount of merch, but I have to do my best to have the greatest variety possible to offer con goers in order to get those sales.

I was hoping to bring home about $1500, but only manage to rake in 1K. It was good enough to pay the rent for the upcoming month and probably keep the power and internet on... but not much beyond that. I spent my last few dollars trying to enjoy Fiver's birthday and get him a couple toys. Small things, some cars and a toy tool set, but better than this past Christmas when I wasn't able to get him anything. I might do Trotcon again next year. Maybe.

The stress of finances is starting to weigh heavily on me. Jesse is having some financial aid problems, and may not be able to return to school in the fall, so the burden of bills is starting to shift back onto my shoulders. I'm starting to consider work again, just to keep my family afloat. Returning to the retail wage-slavery has crossed my mind already a time or two... It's hard to consider applying for any serious jobs and investing time and energy in interviews I may even have to drive miles out of my way to get to. I still don't feel like I'm in a place where I can emotionally handle possible rejection. If I apply for a job, I really go for it. I pour myself into getting that position, and really get attached to the idea of working there. I get my hopes up very high. While it could help my prospects for landing a position, if it doesn't, it leaves me emotionally drained. When I worked for Family Resources already, I was able to take rejection with stride because I was in a position I was happy to continue working; there was a cushion there waiting when I got knocked down. At least then I was secure. Now, not so much. I imagine driving out to Sarasota or Clearwater for a job interview (again, if I were to even get a call back for one), investing precious dollars in gas to get out there and precious time that might be better spent making ponies to sell on ebay, so that if I get turned down for the job, I feel like it was a complete waste of effort.

We should be able to make it through July, even if we have to just scrape by. Rent is set aside, so that by the time we're desperate again, it'll be time for Bronycon, and I should make a few grand there. It should be a lot better than last year, since I'm working months in advance, as opposed to 4 days in advance like last year, and last year was still pretty good. Then 2 weeks after Bronycon, I'll have the Grand Brony Gala where I'll be selling a lot of retail merch. That should bring in at least another grand, maybe two. We might even take the money and move the fuck up north. To hell with Florida.

Jesse's run into some bureaucratic trouble at school and may just be taking some time off, so it's as good a time as any to make the leap. It would be refreshing to all of us just to get out of here, and I don't feel like I'd be cut off from support networks, since I have a lot of family in Cape Cod. I'd only feel bad leaving my mom behind, and likely with only a month or so of notice. I'd probably leave some cash behind to help cover rent or bills for a while, if I can. Just browsing some of the job listings on Craigslist for the area we'd be staying, job prospects look so much more promising than down here. It's really energizing just to fantasize about it, especially since it is becoming and increasingly plausible prospect. It's like a fresh injection of hope into my life.