Woke up a little before noon to baby crying, had really hard time getting out of bed. Was starting to feel like it would be one of those days and despite prodding from S.O., couldn't seem to muster the motivation. Found myself slipping into self-pity, shame, thoughts of worthlessness, was puzzling over what exactly my motivation was composed of and what it would take to turn it back on. Eventually took a deep breath, shut off my mind, and started giving myself itty bitty goals to reach.
Just stand up and get out of bed, do you think you can do that? No, too much? Okay, let's just try propping yourself up a bit. Take your time.... there you go! Good. Now we're going to roll over. Whenever you're ready. Great job! Okay, now let's stand up...
I did this step by step until I got enough momentum to be able to tackle larger goals, and eventually it faded to the background and I moved into a rhythm for the day. I puttered away most of the afternoon, and only got moving to get errands run when I only had an hour left to get to the post office. But I pulled it off. One big check mark on the to-do list.
Later put baby to bed, watched TV show with S.O., and committed to go to bed after listing an item on Ebay. The quick task turned into a few hours of trying to decide whether to post it or not, talking to a friend to help decide what I should do, and being generally indecisive. Decided I should probably give up when it was already silly late to go to bed.
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